New Year, Same Broken Heart

Scrolling through your Twitter feed, sitting on the floor of the airport on New Years Eve is not the behavior of someone who has “moved on.” A sick habit I developed in the 9 days between “It’s over,” and “Happy New Year.” I’m always losing things I love in December and you were right at the top of the list. The incessant need to keep tabs on you evolved to religiously scrolling through the shit posting to find something about a girl. A beeline to Tweets of dating apps and how desperately you want to find love; it all makes me so queasy because our love never felt that urgent or easy. You’ve moved on. [Of course you have] And while I’ve enjoyed the masochistic twist of the knife, you were kind enough to offer to break my heart in 2019. Your final surprise, the bittersweet heartbreak that’s lingered is a way to keep you by my side. 

Photograph by @Andrea Piacquadio